Nothing yet . . . but pain.

:( I'm still having a lot of pain.

The 21st of May is when this pain started. I was hoping it would be gone by now.

I did go back to my doctor and tell them I NEED to be referred to a specialist. Thankfully (if that applies here), I had a lot of redness and swelling that day. So she was able to see these changes. She said that along with the mass from the ultrasound, and it's time I see someone else.

Now I'm jumping through hoops with the insurance company to get the referral sent in and approved. Stupid government (I don't say that often!!!) has a program where my referral must be sent to the closest military hospital first. They can decide to take me on as a patient or refuse it and let the original referral go through. Ft. Hood is the closest, but it is still 45 minutes away. With 4 kids, I just can't see driving all that way for appts, especially if I have to have some sort of surgery and follow-up appts. It's ridiculous . . .

I had an appt with the specialist for Wednesday but had to cancel it due to these insurance issues. It's rescheduled for Thursday afternoon. Hoping and praying it goes through, and I can be seen tomorrow.

We are going out of town on Friday for a week . . . which could delay this process even longer and leave me in pain longer. :( Not good timing . . .

More Questions

Well, the radiology report says the mass (left breast) is "probably" benign. It is "probably" fibroadenoma. I don't like the term "probably" in my medical reports!!!

I was going to go in and ask for further testing. Then I woke up this morning in even more pain. So I made another follow-up appointment.

Today, my right breast is swollen and red . . . and extremely sore. My doctor took one look at the changes and said this plus the suspicious mass, and she is referring me to a specialist for a possible biopsy. Unfortunately, the doctor she wanted to send me to doesn't accept my insurance as primary insurance. So we have to find someone else. After talking to that office about what is going on, she said I need to be seen within the next week. Talk about scary . . . :(

I have a lot of thoughts and fears about what it could be, but I'm going to try to remain positive.

Right now, I can only nurse on the left side. The right is too painful. I imagine my nursing days are coming to an end because of all this. But I would rather be healthy and pain free than continue to nurse.

So again, I ask for prayers and positive thoughts. I hope to have better news in the future . . .

Not so good news

I have been having some pain in my breasts. I thought it was a blocked duct, mastitis, or thrush, but all seems to check clear. It's a little better now, but there is still a lot of pain that shouldn't be there. At first, I literally cried and screamed the entire time each of the boys nursed. :( I was miserable. It's still painful but not to that extent. This has been going on for about 2 weeks. 

I have gone to my doctor twice, and this last time, she said that if I'm in that much pain, we should talk pain meds. I told her no . . . if there is pain that shouldn't be there, figure out what it is and fix it instead of covering it up. :/ Her reply? Well what do you think it is? Uhhh . . . that's why I'm here . . .

Anyway, to appease me, she sent me in for blood work and an ultrasound. I'm still waiting on the official results and reports, but they did tell me (and I saw) that there is a mass in one breast. They took images and measurements. The radiologist said that I should get it rechecked in 6 months. I am not happy about that!! If it's a mass that shouldn't be there, I want it figured out sooner than later. (I sound like a broken record!!! Why do all these docs want to cover up things and take the "wait and see" approach?) They said it is not the source of the pains I'm having, but something to watch. They are sending the full report to my doctor. So I wait . . .

I am in need of prayers and good thoughts that it's nothing serious. :( I have let my mind wander to places I don't want to go . . . and it is a scary place to be.

One year old!!!

I can't believe it, but the boys are ONE year old!!!! :)

We had a little family party at my aunt's in Ft. Worth a couple weeks ago. It's always nice to have an excuse to get your family together!!

On their birthday, we had a little special day for them here at the house. They loved opening their gifts. Once Killian realized how to tear the wrapping paper off, he wouldn't stop!!! They got their big gift today . . . a Little Tikes bus slide activity center thing. It's so cute, and they LOVE it. They have figured out how to climb up and slide down all by themselves. Killian yells "weeeee" the whole time. They are so much fun!!!

So happy first birthday to the two most amazing little men in my life!!!!! :)

Boys check-ups

They are both doing great.

Sawyer is 22 lbs 8 ounces and 29 1/2 inches long.
Killian is 20 lbs 1 ounce and 29 inches long.

Sawyer's kidney ultrasound shows a little dilation still, but there is no more hydronephrosis. We get it rechecked in a year! :) Hooray for a good report!!!!

Not so good

I'm not so good at updating. :/

So let's see . . .

Ethan got accepted to a new charter school opening up in our town. We are SO very excited!! He was also tested for gifted and talented and was referred for math and reading. He's a genius . . . like his mommy!!! hehe

Emily . . . we are still looking for a preschool for her. Seems rates are going up, and I'm not wanting to pay them!!! She's doing great, though, getting smarter every day, and she keeps me smiling!

Killian is such a sweetie. He has this squishy face smile that melts my heart. He does have a temper, though. If I'm nursing Sawyer, and he's ready, he'll hit Sawyer in the head while screaming at the top of his lungs. Not nice . . .

Sawyer is a ham. He just looks like he's always up to something!! He's also HUGE. It's hard to believe that we were worried about his weight just a few months ago.

I can't believe they will be one in just a few short days. This year has gone by so quickly . . . and we have enjoyed just about every minute of it!!

We had their smash cake pics done today. She said she would have them done by Friday or Saturday. I can't wait!!! They DEVOURED the cakes!!!! :) 

Exciting news . . . we finally moved into the new house. :) It's amazing!!! The kids are loving it. They have so much space to run around in! The playroom is one of the favorite places in the house!!

And finally, asking for thoughts and prayers for Sawyer. He has a follow-up ultrasound tomorrow to check his kidney. Ultrasound of his liver last summer after a bout of jaundice revealed hydronephrosis on one kidney. We are hoping it's all cleared up now and will cause no problems in the future.

Now I'm going to sit and watch the radars online until the storms pass or we lose power!! I hate storms . . .

Kids are funny!!!!

I always say I am going to remember to write down all the funny things my kids say because as funny as it is in the moment, you ALWAYS forget part of it!!!

Yesterday, Ethan said something that had me cracking up.

Ethan: Mom, look at that Spongebob thing hanging on that car's mirror.
Me: Yes, baby. That's an air freshener.
Ethan (thinks for a minute): Hmm . . . why would anyone want their car to smell like Spongebob?

LOL. Maybe you had to be there, but that had me rolling!!!

Cloth Diaper Giveaway

GoGreen Pocket Diapers are giving away 12 cloth diapers.

Diper Giveaway

Enter here!!! I need to win to get more fluff for the boys!!! :)

I really suck at this!!!!

Here is is, mid-April, and I haven't blogged at all this month.

Quick update . . .

The last couple weeks have gone by quickly. The boys are 10 months old!!! Ethan and Emily are doing great. Ethan will be 8 in a couple weeks. Wow . . . where has the time gone???

The house is about 3 weeks from completion. You can't imagine how great it will be to finally move in. The kids are all excited about having all their stuff back in their own rooms!!!

The boys are teething like mad-men!!! I can't wait for those little teeth to come popping through. They have also decided that staying up with mommy is more fun than sleeping. I finally got them to sleep around 10pm tonight. What stinks is that after everyone is in bed is MY time. I get to watch my DVR'd programs, get on the computer, read a book . . . whatever. I guess the boys are wanting to join me . . . :) Only a few weeks, and they will be introduced to their cribs (at almost a year old!!)!!!! They are still in the original boxes . . . never unpacked . . . that should be fun!!!

Oh, and we had pics taken yesterday. Kevin and I didn't find anything to wear. So we decided to do just kids this time. We have another 1 hour session with this lady some time later. :) Hopefully we'll get some shots of all of us then . . .

Pics

Here's one of my favorites!!!

Kevin's dad is having some medical issues. So he really needs extra prayers.

What could have been . . .

Every now and then, I wonder what could have been. Our first ultrasound with the boys, one of the sacs had a thin membrane and a blob with no heartbeat in it. They said it looked like I had identical twins and a third baby, but one identical twin didn't make it.

Sometimes I think about which boy would have had the identical twin. I wonder how different he would be than his brothers. Or how much fun it would be to have a set of identical twins plus one.

I know I am truly blessed to have these amazing miracles. I know that a triplet pregnancy would have had more risks and complications, but I often sit and think about the what if's . . . and get a little down. :(

Could have been worse . . .

Our refrigerator went out today. :/ Not cool . . .

We started throwing things away that were probably spoiled. What we did salvage, I started cooking!!! I had soup made for dinner by 10am. I also got some fruit pureed for the boys oatmeal in the morning (enough for about a week!!). I steamed some veggies for the kids, as well. I was ready to cook all the meat . . .

Then, miraculously, it started working again. Whew . . . most of the freezer stuff was still frozen and saved, but the fridge is now bare except for what I cooked!!

Fun day . . .

Today was a fun day!

We went to breakfast then to a car dealership to look at a good gas gettin' car for Kevin. He's spending about $400 a month on gas just driving to work and back. :/ So we looked at a hybrid - Prius or Insight. Little did we know the battery in those cars are around $2000 if you need to replace them (so the salesperson told us!). So we may end up looking more Civic or something similar.

Then we went to an archeological thing put on by the local museum (and I say "the" because we have only one pretty small one!!). We watched them make arrow heads, got to throw an atlatl, made some rock art and learned about other Native American crafts and information. We had a good time, but the 80+ degree weather took a toll on everyone!! Kevin came home and took a long nap with Sawyer. I took a short nap with Killian, and the older kiddo's took a nap in the car later. Now both boys are knocked out, and the others have been moping around for the last couple hours!! If everyone sleeps through the night tonight, we will be going outside every day to wear them all out!!!

We are having a house built. They started the first week of March and should take approximately 2 months. We go through a few days where it looks like they are making a lot of progress. Then we hit a few days where it looks like they are doing nothing!!!! Right now, we are in a nothing phase. Not only that, but we have a bathroom window that is rainglass, and they installed it sideways!!! So it looks like it's driving rain rather than rain just trickling down the window!! Hopefully they get that fixed soon . . .

Here's the latest pic . . . we are anxiously counting down the days until we move in!!! Six people in a camper is getting ROUGH!!!! Who am I kidding??? It started rough!!!



Nice pile of trash in the front!!! :/

I freaking love you

We don't use curse words in our house. Kevin may slip up from time to time, but it's very rare. I use other words instead . . . random words. You will often hear me yelling crap-weasel or butter buckets, whatever I think of at the time! Sometimes I'll use freaking or friggin' in a sentence. Emily has caught on, and yesterday she said, "Mommy, I freaking love you!!!" I'm not sure if I should laugh or hang my head in shame!!!

Wow . . .

This is an OLD blog!!! I liked the address, though. So I decided to revive it . . .

This blog will be about our life . . . as we know it!!!

My life . . .

I am a SAHM of 4 amazing kids. Ethan, Emily, and the twins, Killian and Sawyer. My husband retired from the Army last year, and we moved back to Texas. We are currently having a house built and are living in our camper until it is done. Six people crammed into a camper is tough, but we see the light at the end of the tunnel!!!

I enjoy sewing, photography, and other crafts. I tried scrapbooking and now have a big tub of supplies and thousands of unprinted photos on the computer. :/ I imagine I'm better off buying a few (hundred) photo albums at this point!

I stay up late (as in now!) to watch my DVR'd shows and get on the computer. My favorite shows are Army Wives, Private Practice, Grey's Anatomy, Fringe, Off the Map, and Dr. Oz. We all love to watch Ghost Hunters and Ghost Adventures (mainly to laugh) and love tornado shows like Tornado Road and Storm Stories.